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DPRG: How Many X's Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

Subject: DPRG: How Many X's Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
From: Jim Brown jbrown at spdmail.spd.dsccc.com
Date: Wed Jul 2 13:42:02 CDT 1997

More humor forwarded to me:


>>     Q:  How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb? 
>>     A:  Four hundred and seventy-two: One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle,
>>         one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write 
>>         WinGetLightSwitchHandle......etc.
>>     
>>     Q:  How many technical support personnel does it take to change a
>>         light bulb?
>>     A:  We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be
>>         working fine.  Can you tell me what kind of system you have?  OK. 
>>         Now, exactly how dark is it?  OK.  There could be four or five 
>>         things wrong...Have you tried the light switch?
>>     
>>     Q:  How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
>>     A:  We've formed a task-force to study the problem of why light bulbs
>>         burn out, and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can 
>>         do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.
>>     
>>     Q:  How many beta testers does it take to change a light bulb? 
>>     A:  We just noticed the room was dark; we don't actually fix the
>>         problem.
>>     
>>     Q:  How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light
>>         bulb?
>>     A:  Three. Two to hold the ladder and one to screw the bulb into the
>>         faucet.
>>     
>>     Q:  How many MIS guys does it take to change a light bulb?
>>     A:  MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem and
>>         has assigned you request service number 39,712. Please use this 
>>         number for any future reference to this light bulb issue.
>>     
>>     Q:  How many [object-oriented] programmers does it take to change a
>>         light bulb?
>>     A:  You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb
>>         object would inherit a change method from a generic bulb class, so 
>>         all you'd have to do is send a light-bulb-change message.
>>     
>>     Q:  How many developers does it take to change a light bulb? 
>>     A:  The light bulb works fine in my office ...
>>     
>>     Q:  How many shipping department guys does it take to change a light
>>         bulb?
>>     A:  We can change the light bulb in seven to ten working days, but if
>>         you call before 2 p.m., and pay an extra $15, we can get the 
>>         light bulb changed overnight.
>>     
>>     Q:  How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb? 
>>     A:  None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new
>>         industry standard.
>>     
>>     Q:  How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb? 
>>     A:  Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85.00
>>         non-refundable on-site service fee to consider . . .
>>     
>>     Q:  How many quality assurance techs does it take to change a light
>>         bulb?
>>     A:  Two, and you'll need a 48 hour burn-in, two hours of cool down,
>>         and a very thorough bench analysis of the new bulb so don't 
>>         expect to see either bulb for a week or so.
>>     
>>     Q:  How many receptionists does it take to change a light bulb?
>>     A:  Zero, well actually one, the one that tells the office manager
>>         about the light bulb problem in the first place.
>>     
>>     Q:  How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? 
>>     A:  None. It's a hardware problem.
>>     

    
     How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?  
     
     179:
     
     12 to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old 
     bulb, 
     23 to deregulate the light bulb industry,
     16 to cut funding for alternative lighting, 
     34 to cut the tax rate on light bulbs,
     53 to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb, and 
     41 to talk with defense contractors about night-vision gear instead. 
         
- ----- 
Q: How many DSC Software Engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None.  An employee opinion survey showed that morale improved while the light bulb was burned out.


- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jim Brown                jbrown at spdmail.spd.dsccc.com or jbrown at why.net
                         http://users.why.net/jbrown  
                         http://www.dprg.org (Next meeting July 12th)

Work:  972-519-2868      My employer won't claim these opinions.    
Home:  972-495-3821      So I'm giving them away for free.   

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