DPRG
DPRG List  



DPRG: Klingon Programming

Subject: DPRG: Klingon Programming
From: James Vroman vroman at mail.airmail.net
Date: Fri Nov 19 16:47:39 CST 1999

Had to pass this on. 

>What they learn at the Klingon Programmer Academy  -
>
>
>1.  Specifications are for the weak and timid !
>
>2.  This machine is a piece of GAAAGH ! I need quad Pentium processors
>      if I am to do battle with this code !
>
>3.  You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the
>    original Klingon.
>
>4.  Indentation ?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
>
>5.  What is this talk of 'release' ? Klingons do not make software
>     'releases'.  Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers
>     and quality assurance people in its wake.
>
>6.  Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments'
>    -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
>
>7.  Debugging ? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the
>     weak.
>
>8.  I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
>     contest. They will not concern us again.
>
>9.  A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code !
>
>10. By filing this bug report you have challenged the honour of my family.
>      Prepare to die !
>
>11. You question the worthiness of my code ? I should kill you where you
>       stand !
>
>12. Support ? If you say to us you need support we will crush you and march
>      over your grieving family !
>
>13. Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it ! Ship
>       it and let them flee like the dogs they are !
>

------------------------------

More information about the DPRG mailing list