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[DPRG] Off Topic -- A couple of stories since the list is so slow. --Off Topic

Subject: [DPRG] Off Topic -- A couple of stories since the list is so slow. --Off Topic
From: R. Bickle rbickle at swbell.net
Date: Tue May 14 11:14:25 CDT 2002

Hey Kip,

Can't say for IT guys, but I have compiled a list of translations for
engineering project status terms for the non-engineer. Here's what I have so
far:

What is said:                         	What it means:
----------------------------          	------------------------------

Essentially complete                  	ItÂ’s half done

Schedule exposure                    	It slipped three weeks ago

We predict                            	We hope to God

Risk is high but acceptable           	100 to 1 odds; or, with 10 times
							the budget and 10 times the
							people, we stand a 50/50 chance

Potential show stopper                	The team has updated their resumes

Serious but no insurmountable      		It would take a miracle
problems

Basic agreement reached             	The &%$#@'s wonÂ’t even talk to us

Results are being quantified          	WeÂ’re massaging the numbers so
							that they will agree with our
							conclusions

Task force to review                  	7 people who are incompetent at their
							regular jobs have been loaned to the project

Not well defined                      	NobodyÂ’s even thought about it

Not well understood                   	Now that weÂ’ve thought about it,
							we donÂ’t want to think about it
							anymore

Requires further analysis             	Totally out of control
and management attention

Results are encouraging               	Power-on produced no smoke

The results of years of intense      	Discovered by Accident
research

Project behind schedule due to    		DidnÂ’t feel like working on it
unforeseen problem

Customer satisfaction is              	We are the only supplier
guaranteed

The design will be finalized in       	We hope to get started on the
the next reporting period             	project next week

Test results are extremely            	We donÂ’t have a clue as to why
gratifying                            	it works

A fresh approach to the       		We hired a new guy
problem is being taken

The entire concept will have to      	The only guy who understood the
be reengineered                       	whole thing just quit

Preliminary results are               	It blew up
inconclusive

Modifications are underway to      		It blew up again
correct certain problems

ManufacturerÂ’s data sheets are    		No matter what I try, it always
incorrect                             	blows up

Major breakthrough                    	It didnÂ’t blow up

Under consideration                   	Never heard of it

Under active consideration           	Looking for the files for it

Expect action to be taken             	DonÂ’t call me, IÂ’ll call you
Immediately


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